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  • Ramadan in Turkey: Culture Wars and Bülent Ersoy

    It’s Ramadan in Turkey right now, and Istanbul has had a bad month. The first day a bomb went off, killing five police officers. Shortly after, a group of men armed with pipes raided a record store in Cihangir where a number of people were quietly listening to a new Radiohead album and drinking beer. The attackers swore and shouted about how disrespectful it was to drink during Ramadan while beating the attendees. One yelled that hew as going “to burn them inside.” The perpetrators were detained by police but were later released without charges.

    Video of the attack in Cihangir – not graphic.

    Later the same day, Erdogan vowed to rebuild a military barracks on the site of Gezi Park, a plan which sparked nationwide protests in 2013, during which a number of people died. Those protests gave rise to predictions of a Turkish Spring akin to the Arab Springs happening around the same time. This didn’t materialize, but the prodigious force of these protests caused Erdogan to withdraw the proposal to build on Gezi . . . apparently until now.

    The next evening a group of people protesting the attack in Cihangir by standing and drinking in the street were attacked by police, who shot tear gas into the crowd even though the protest was peaceful. Meanwhile, the perpetrators of the original attack haven’t been charged even though one of them was caught on video, and the business owner and business have been evicted by the owner of the building, who is presumably afraid of further repercussions. Then it was announced that the forthcoming Transgender and Gay Pride Parades have been cancelled too over “security fears” during Ramadan as ultra-nationalist youth organization Alperen Hearths threatened violence. The same thing happened last year; the government forbade the parade to go ahead only a few days before it was supposed to take place, even though there is no legal requirement for parade organizers to request government permission. Both this year and last, the parades went ahead anyway and were violently dispersed by police armed with water cannons and rubber bullets. No “ultra-nationalistic organizations” perpetrated violence, except the state of course.

    To finish off this violent layer-cake with judicious sprinkling of powdered wtf, the same day that the Transgender Pride Parade-goers were attacked by police Erdogan and his wife Emine broke their Ramadan fast with none other than Bülent Ersoy. Ersoy, transgender diva extraordinaire, apparently labours under the illusion that she isn’t transgender. And while it may be the desired outcome of the trans movement to obliterate questioning around your identified gender (a more complicated issue that I won’t get into here), the fact that she deems it appropriate to allow her trans compatriots to be teargassed and shot at with rubber bullets while she breaks bread with the man who allows it to happen smacks of a complete divorce from reality. Ersoy is not much of an inspiration (as other people on the internet have called her), simply for the fact that she’s trans and has done what she wants. Everybody tries to do what they want, and the only difference between Ersoy and regular people is that she succeeded at it because she had money and musical success.

    Source: The Guardian

    Source: The Guardian

    Erdogan looks like he just sharted.

    At any rate, I was expecting Ramadan violence. In theory, Ramadan is supposed to be a month of peace, giving to the poor, and understanding what it is like to live with little. For me, Ramadan is mostly an occasion to witness two things: hypocrisy and how the fissures of Turkish society widen each year.

    My first Ramadan in Turkey, I witnessed my employers feast like gluttons each night and sleep all day, while leaving nannies to take care of their children at all times (that’s right – no time off, but you can do that when you employ someone from Nepal because it’s not like they speak Turkish well or know their rights.) My female boss talked constantly about how much she hoped Ramadan would help her lose weight while lamenting how skinny I was compared to her while eating “all the time.” (In fact, I ate less than she did, was significantly taller, and exercised every day. Furthermore, she only fasted for about three days, though she still piously slept the whole day and partied all night. She was delusional.)

    While I’d initially been looking forward to the experience of Ramadan that first summer in Turkey, assuming that the intentions of the holiday lined up with its practice, I quickly changed my tune. When my bosses were awake during the day, they were cranky, abused their children and staff, and talked about how generous they were to the poor. In response, I gorged myself on breakfast every day and drank at every opportunity because, even though I still believed that Ramadan could be observed sincerely, it was all too much to bear.

    Around that same time, Erdogan was in the process of moving from being the prime minister of the country to being the president, and people were questioning his motives. There were rumours that he had cancer for a while, and that the presidency (which was more ceremonial than anything at the time) was a way to live out his political days. There was also speculation that he was doing it to keep his hold on power.

    That summer I went to the gay pride parade in Istanbul, which smacked more of a protest than a party, but went ahead peacefully and relatively safely.

    IMG_20140629_164816996 IMG_20140629_171709119 IMG_20140629_184803850

    People put signs in the gate of the Russian embassy, as Russia was already persecuting gays at the time.

    It was that summer that I began to realize that Turkey was not as stable as it appeared from my vantage point in Canada. Secular friends talked about how much that hated that there were cities in Turkey where it was impossible to buy food during the day during Ramadan, about how they were concerned by how the government was encouraging a return to conservative (ostensibly “Muslim”) values. At the time, it didn’t seem as bad as they said. It wasn’t – and it was.

    I came back to Turkey a year later to an even more polarized political discourse. Secular people bemoaned how many more women were veiled. The government had refused to negotiate with Kurdish militias, restarting a war that had been in a state of détente for a while. And even though I didn’t want to engage in the same kind of judgement that Turkish people seemed happy to throw at each other, I started to understand when I bussed one day through a more conservative area of Istanbul wearing a dress that went up to my neck and down to my knees and was rudely stared at by many of the covered ladies there.

    Though I resisted feeling the same way about “other” people that many of my secular compatriots did, (“I could never have a friend who was veiled!” “You don’t understand Muslims – but I do, and they are bad people!” “Muslims! – followed by an eyeroll. I’m from a Muslim family, I can say that.”) I began to understand the depth of Turkey’s fissures, great canyons of difference that are capitalized on by the government, who caters to the more conservative and anti-Kurdish crowd by promising a more Muslim and more secure state if they can only stay in power.

    In the following months, Turkey began to experience terrorist attacks. The first, which the government, unbelievably, blamed on Kurdish people, targeted Kurdish protesters. The rest were a mixture of ISIS and Kurdish factions, or at least, that’s who claimed them. Whether or not the government was responsible is a question, although as one friend said, “The government created the conditions for these kinds of attacks to exist.”

    This brings us to Ramadan, the Muslim holy month, and the best time of year to determine who belongs on which side of the canyon of difference because, at this point, radical Muslims have license to attack secular people for behaving in supposedly “non-Muslim” ways with minimal, if any, repercussions. Furthermore, the cancellation of the Pride Parades because of “Ramadan” helps reinforce the idea that Muslims cannot participate in the Pride movement, that there is an ideology-binary, that you’re either with the government or against it. In reality, one of the women in the above photographs is sporting a hijab, but appears as into the idea of pride as everybody else.

    Turkey is not a stable country by any means, and much of the political manoeuvering has people coming up with wild – or not so wild – conspiracy theories. After the Radiohead attack in Cihangir, a neighbourhood that houses the largest part of Turkey’s expat community, a Turkish friend mused that the neighbourhood was targeted for that reason and that the attackers might have had something to do with the government. “The government has no reason to want expats,” one friend noted, “because expats understand that there’s something better out there. They know that Turkey doesn’t need to accept this kind of treatment.”

    It’s not something I want to believe, but it’s hard to prevent these theories from lodging in your brain. Suddenly, the fact that it takes six months to get a residency permit and that it’s nearly impossible to leave the country during the six months that you’re waiting for your appointment becomes not a symptom of Turkey’s general administrative inefficiency, but a deliberate attempt to keep naysayers out.

    As for the new plans for Gezi Park, they are certainly a provocation and could potentially send Turkey sailing into a civil war. I can just imagine Erdogan a la Nero, except instead of plucking the strings of lyre he’d be plucking the hairs of his moustache (because, how the hell else do you get a moustache to even do that?) and instead of Rome it’s Constantinople. Or Ankara. Or whatever. I’m done with the analogies. I just hope things calm down after Ramadan.

    On a more positive note, here in Kyrgyzstan I stayed at an AirBnB where my host was celebrating Ramadan. My host, a very kind and gentle man and one of my best AirBnB hosts to date, didn’t even tell me that he was celebrating. I only found out after staying at his house for five days.

    “Do you celebrate Ramadan every year?” I asked.

    “No,” he said. “This is actually my first Ramadan. And actually it’s kind of about forgiveness – I mean, not that I’ve done a lot of very bad sins but – um, I don’t know how to express this in English exactly.”

    “Is it sort of like reminding yourself how good God is, compared to you?” I asked.

    “Yes, like this, kind of,” he said. “And anyway, it is not about showing how good you are. You are not supposed to act any differently during Ramadan. You don’t get to be mean to others because you are hungry, and it’s a personal thing so you shouldn’t tell everybody you are fasting.”

    In conclusion, Erdogan doesn’t own Ramadan. He just uses whatever he can to suit his political agenda and allows others to do the same.

  • What the Fog: Horseback Riding in the Mountains in Kyrgyzstan

    The other day I went horseback riding in the mountains. First, I stopped by a yurt for some kumis, a traditional Kyrgyz spring beverage of fermented horse milk. Please note the very cool yurt storage system. This yurt also had a stove and chimney (these are not uncommon yurt accessories).IMG_3718

    Then I got on my horse. He did absolutely nothing that I told him to.
    IMG_3722

    Because I was so inexperienced, my guide had to take my horse and attach our two horses with a rope. It was a blow to my ego and, I’m sure, to my horse’s. Fortunately, the guide’s horse did embarrass himself by farting no less than 15 times on the way up the mountain. I had never heard a horse fart before, but here I am today telling you about it.

    My horse responded by seeming to try to get his mouth as close to the source of the farts as possible. My first thought? “That’s disgusting. Like that movie The Human Centipede.” My second thought: “Huh. The equestrian centipede.”

    All I can say is that, when you are climbing up a mountain in Kyrgyzstan in a fog thicker than your Mom and you have unwittingly thought of the most disgusting movie that exists on earth, it pays to be able to distract yourself with a good vocabulary.

    We saw some of the best views in Kyrgyzstan.

    IMG_3723

    If you look really closely, you can see a yurt on the right.

    IMG_3724

    On the way back, it started pouring rain. We had already been dampened by the fog, but the rain soaked us through. We hightailed it back to the yurt, at which point I learned that being on the back of a trotting horse requires some more supportive undergarments because otherwise it is very painful in the chestal region. The yurt inhabitants quickly stripped me of my shirt and gave me a shapeless cardigan worthy of the finest elderly Kyrgyz lady. There is not much privacy in a yurt, so it was a bit of an undertaking. I was thankful and felt much better.

    I think my guide felt a bit badly to have taken me up when the weather was so bad. I would, however, recommend going horseback riding in Kyrgyzstan when the weather is nice, since from the bottom the mountains look like this.

    IMG_3739I had fun anyway, but if I had the chance to do it over again I would postpone the trip to another day.

  • Cultural Learnings of Kyrgyzstan for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Canada

    The countries Central Asia are the new Timbuktu of the world, a cluster of vaguely exotic locales whose location nobody is exactly sure of – at least, nobody outside of the ex-Soviet Union and maybe Turkey. Sacha Baron Cohen took advantage of this lack of knowledge in his shock humour classic Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, a terrible movie that has, nonetheless, at least put the idea of Central Asia in people’s heads.

    Still, when I told people were I was going I was met with polite nodding or an honest, “actually, I’m not really sure where that is.”

    Well, I’m in Kyrgyzstan, not Kazakhstan, though if you didn’t notice that in the title you wouldn’t be alone. There’s a reason for this change, and it’s not my desire to trick you or hold your lack of knowledge over your head. In fact, I was supposed to be going to Kazakhstan, and would have succeeded if it weren’t for my own stupidity. For you see, I bought a visa to Kazakhstan last year only to be pleasantly surprised when the visa indicated I was eligible to spend 30 days as long as I did it within the next year.

    So I waited 8 months. Finally, I bought a ticket, booked a place to stay, and took the bus to the airport. There was traffic and I arrived late enough to start hyperventilating in line about whether I would actually manage to have them put my baggage on the plane. All in vain as it turned out. I arrived at the counter one minute before the check-in deadline, placed my bag on the conveyor belt, and handed my passport to the check-in agent.

    “Where is your visa to Kazakhstan?” she asked.

    I flipped through the pages of my passport and handed it back to her.

    “But this visa is expired,” she said. “See? February 8, 2016.”

    “No no,” I said with mortifying self-assuredness, “it doesn’t expire until August. See? 08/02/2016.”

    She took a picture of it and made a call. Adem grabbed it to look. “Kate,” he said, “look at this other date. It says 23/06/2015. There is no way you can be right.

    The bizarre calm of accepting fear fulfilled descended over me. Adem and I strolled to the ticket counter in the hopes of cancelling the ticket before the plane took off. While we were there, I booked another ticket to Kyrgyzstan for the following week.

    And that is the story of how I was once almost deported from Kazakhstan, except not really. It’s just the story of a three hundred dollar mistake that motivated me to scarf down a brownie and cry for a bit.

    I arrived in Kyrgyzstan yesterday. The interior of the airport smelled funny, though I couldn’t place the scent. Body odour – of course, a classic – but something else. People pushed towards the customs officials in a line that resembled people waiting for the release of a new iPhone. (A.K.A. NO LINE.) When I was finally able to push my way to the front, I could see that the border officials were wearing hats that made them look like they were from North Korea.

    This is not hyperbole; in fact, if anything the hats were like a hyperbolic version of North Korea army hats. They were green with a wide brim and even an extravagantly sloped top that reached it’s peak at the front of the hat and another, smaller, peak at the back. Affixed to the front of this verdant hat-valley was a large red star brooch flanked by sheaves of wheat, the official symbol of the Soviet Union. On the glass of the passport control booth was a large sign showing a camera with a red line crossed through it; I can only assume this is because Kyrgyzstan does not want the secret of the highly embarrassing and amusing border control hats to get out to the rest of the world.

    The sheaves of wheat were a laughably ironic symbol also; during the Soviet Period, collective farming was imposed on neighbouring Kazakhstan, which had previously been largely nomadic. This resulted in mass starvation, with some sources claiming that 38 percent of the population perished. While this didn’t happen in Kyrgyzstan, the sheaves of wheat still seem an ironic symbol for a country that a. is very close to Kazakhstan and b. has not been a Soviet Republic for 25 years.

    I haven’t had a chance to talk to any Kyrgyz people in any depth yet, but the hats were giving me the feeling that Kyrgyzstan may be a bit nostalgic for the Soviet period.

    As I stood in line mentally besmirching the hats, the man next to me said, “So you are from Canada.”

    “Yes,” I said.

    “Why are you coming to Kyrgyzstan?” He sounded like it thought it was a bit weird. In truth, it did seem weird; in that whole crowd of people, I’d seen only two others who looked like tourists from a place that wasn’t Russia. “Well,” he said, “there are lots of beautiful places. You can go hiking.”

    It was my turn to go up to the border counter. I took a deep breath to stave off laughter at the hat and because somebody had vomited next to the counter and it hadn’t yet been cleaned up.

    The border guard looked at my passport. “You’re from Canada?”

    “Yes.”

    “Do you have a visa?”

    “Canadians don’t need a visa to Kyrgyzstan.”

    He looked for a moment at an sheet of paper pasted to the wall of his cubicle to find out whether I was telling the truth. His eyes didn’t appear to focus on anything, which made me wonder if he had actually managed to find Canada at all. After a few seconds he shrugged. “Okay,” he said, and stamped my passport.

    And that is the story of how I’m pretty sure I held the first Canadian passport that that guy had ever stamped.

    As for Bishkek, so far it is dusty and hot, but reasonably green.

    bishkek bus

    The buses and marshrutkas come in different colours. This is a first for me.

    bishkek movie theatre

    The Bishkek movie theatre.

    IMG_3672

    A literacy poster. This baby’s all like, “I don’t understand words.”

    bishkek fountain pool

    Is this a swimming pool, or is everybody just swimming in a fountain?

    IMG_3677

    Kyrgyzstan is an ostensibly Muslim country but, like in Azerbaijan, few women cover. I also had pork shawarma today and they were doing a roaring trade.

     

     

  • The Hijabi Hairdresser and (the few) Gender-Segregated Turkish Spaces

    The second time I came to Turkey, I was dragged to an upscale hair salon in Izmir with my former employer only to discover that all the hairdressers were men. I was amazed. It was different from Canada, to be sure, where hairdressers are typically women or gay men. However, it wasn’t just that. Although Izmir is the most liberal city in Turkey and women in Izmir don’t tend to wear any kind of covering, it’s still Turkey. In other words, men in Izmir still tend to behave possessively towards wives, sisters, and girlfriends, and virginity before marriage is still valued. Because of all this, the idea that men should bear the responsibility of touching women in order to make them more beautiful seemed . . . bizarre.

    I’ll get back to this later.

    Source: omarkuafor.com

    Source: omarkuafor.com

    I suppose it is bad to steal pictures without asking, but had to use it. Sadly, I have never gotten three things done at once or been fed Turkish coffee at a Turkish salon.

    When I finally moved to Istanbul, I starting making periodical appearances at my neighbourhood hamam. The first time I went, it wasn’t busy. When I entered, the women who worked there were sprawled across benches watching an Indian soap opera on a 12 inch television. When I came out of the steam bath, one of them put some music on and they started to belly dance. I joined in briefly, to hoots of kind laughter and motherly correction that had no effect on my technique.

    The second time I went it was busier. Women roamed around in varying states of undress: one had a nipple straying out of her bra; another was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of panties two sizes too small. Another was clothed, sprawled out on one of the benches, napping. All seemed comfortable. It was like I’d walked into an Orientalist painting . . . except imagine each woman aged about 50 years and about 10 kilos heavier, plop some of them in chairs getting their roots bleached old-lady blonde, and imagine them all clucking simultaneously when you walk the wrong way or forget your slippers.

    Like this Gérome painting....but not.

    Like this Gérome painting….but really not.

    That day I was there not because I wanted to get scrubbed, but because they provided waxing services. I asked if they were free to wax me and was met with a raucous course of yes. A moment later I was hustled into a small room and told to remove my clothing below the waist – even though the door to the room was open. The woman who waxed me was in her sixties and insisted that I stand while she did it, presumably to save her back. Understanding that my Turkish needs improving, she was careful to speak slowly and loudly to me as she spelled out the ingredients of the wax. “Sekeeeeeeer, li-mooooooon, su – her sey dog-aaaaaal.” (Sugar, lemon, it’s all-natural.) I stood their naked from the waist down as she ripped my body hair into submission when all of a sudden another woman of roughly the same generation as my waxer hung her head and both breasts into the room to ask about something, before continuing contentedly on her bucknaked way as I did my best not to collapse in a fit of giggles at her nudist nonchalance.

    I adore the atmosphere of the hamam. Not one woman in there appears to care what her body looks like or to have any kind of running competition with anybody else. Most of them are over 50, and many older; when you go into the actual steam bath part of the hamam (rather than the outer courtyard), most of the woman are unselfconsciously naked, lifting flaps of skin and breast to scrub underneath, enjoying a massage or full-body exfoliation, and chatting with whoever they’ve come with. I heard from friends that they even sometimes make food and just go and eat it there if there are no husbands or children or grandchildren that need tending. At any rate, it’s convivial and relaxed and relaxing and a little bit funny to get mothered this way and that for a few hours while wearing very little.

    Hamams are, of course, segregated by gender. Women and men bathe at different times or in different sections, depending on the size and architecture of the place. My hamam excursions made me wonder whether other gender-segregated spaces existed in Turkish society.

    Most things in Turkey are not segregated by gender, and although patriarchal attitudes are alive and well, the legacy of the Ataturkian reforms reigns superficial king in public places.* There is still some segregation, however. Now that I live in Istanbul, I am surrounded by many more women who choose to cover themselves to varying degrees. In Montreal hijabis are a common sight, so the proliferation of hijab-clad women did not give me pause at first – until I noticed that every hair salon I passed by still seemed to be staffed by men like the ones in Izmir were. So I put the question to Adem. “Where do women who cover get their haircut?” I asked. “I think just at a regular salon,” he said. “Many women veil just for political reasons, but aren’t necessarily religious. They probably just take their hijab off when they get into the salon.

    “What?” I said. “Women are just veiling for political reasons? That can’t be right.”

    “No really,” Adem said. “Before the ruling party came into power almost nobody veiled. And then as soon as they came into power people started to do it because the government was religious – or at least, claimed to be. So there are lots of reasons to cover your hair besides religion. People need to seem sufficiently religious to work in any occupation that has anything to do with the ruling party, so women will veil in order to get better jobs or make their husbands more competitive on the job market. It’s also a fashion statement. And some women decide to veil after they decide to make a change in their life in order to indicate that they’ve turned over a new leaf. And of course many of the women you see wearing abayas and niqabs are not Turkish at all – they’re Syrian. Anyway, I think they must just get their hair cut at a regular hairdresser. If they weren’t veiled before they can probably still make an exception for a few hours.”

    I was not convinced that this could possibly be true. While it’s true that the current ruling party identifies itself as religious and makes statements about women that belong in the dark ages (e.g. birth control is unbecoming to Muslim women, it is not modest for women to smile), it did not seem possible that all women who chose to cover were doing so out of societal pressure. Assuming that some were motivated by sincere desire to observe their faith, it made sense that there should be facilities where they could get their hair done outside of the prying eyes of men. I also know that many hijabis enjoy looking good as much as their uncovered counterparts; I once bought a pair of yoga pants in a store stuffed with cheap pornographic lingerie. As I turned to examine my rear (the whole point of yoga pants – hello), the saleslady, a hijabi around my age, flashed me a thumbs up and said, “Looks great.” And that’s not even to mention the fact that many covered women seem to make up for any attractiveness they may have lost by covering their hair by making themselves up like movie stars and posting duck-faced selfies on Instagram.

    So I was on the hunt for a hijabi hairdresser. Adem wasn’t much help, so I put the appeal out on Facebook. The first comment was a bit reactionary. “Turkey is not a segregated country.” it said. “It’s not the Gulf. Most hijabis are just happy to have a man cut their hair.”

    Interesting.

    Subsequent comments disagreed as helpful hijabis came out of the cyberworks. “They exist,” they said. “The windows are blocked out so people can’t see in, which is why they aren’t as obvious. And they tend to be in neighbourhoods, not downtown, although there are some downtown too that cater to tourist women from the Gulf. Look for a place that says “tesettur bolumu” on the sign.

    As it turned out, the answer to my question had been staring me straight in the face. Across the street from my apartment stood another apartment building with a sign that said “tesettur bolumu.” One morning, I went there, ostensibly to get a pedicure. The salon wasn’t located on the ground floor like most others I’d seen, and I had to knock on a heavy wooden door to get in. A woman peeked around the door. “Welcome,” she said, and that’s about it. I asked if they offered pedicures, and she waved me to a seat off to the side before motioning to a young esthetician who dutifully placed a tub of hot water beneath my feet, then returned to curling her hair while waiting for my feet to soften.

    In truth, I’d been expecting something like the hamam – convivial, cheerful, a clothed but uncovered place where women might let loose a little bit. Nothing could have been further from the truth. The pedicure was conducted in absurd silence. Not only did the staff not talk to me, which I might have understood as they may have assumed that my knowledge of Turkish was too limited; they didn’t talk to each other. And when a hijabi did come in she kept her carefully arranged hijab on, turning 180 degrees in front of the mirror and checking her profile and makeup before seating herself on the couch to gossip quietly and nastily with the staff at the salon about mutual friends and acquaintances. At the end of my pedicure I paid and went out, probably never to return.

    On my way home, I passed by a third gender segregated space, this time for men. This is the kahve, a café where men shoot the shit, smoke nargile, drink tea, and play board games. I can’t write much more about it since I’m not allowed inside; from outside it seems fairly lively, though more subdued than the hamam.

    IMG_3656

    On the right, a kahve spilling out into the street.

    I hear worries from friends and family all the time about the possibility of Turkey becoming more like a Gulf country, a place where gender segregation is the norm rather than the exception, or where women are judged (more than they already are – and they are) by what they choose to wear. The current political establishment appears to be driving Turkey in this direction, though many Turkish people resist this pressure; some even refuse to associate those who would agree with the current government’s ideology and policies. When I told friends I was writing about this, many reacted by expressing these worries. It is a sobering counterpoint to my merry curiosity, and an important one. In ten years, how will Turkey’s spaces have changed with regard to gender?

    *Ataturk was, among other things, responsible for the adoption of Western dress (thereby abolishing the veil and fez), and giving women the right to vote.

  • You Should Know about Bülent Ersoy and Zeki Müren

    bulent-ersoy-22

    I went out one night the first summer I spent in Turkey. It was late evening, and I was quickly walking the length of a wide boulevard in Izmir with an acquaintance. The quickness of my step was due both to the fact that it was nighttime and because the boulevard was lined with prostitutes. As we sped past, cars rolled to a stop all along the stretch and the prostitutes leaned into windows to negotiate. “They’re transsexuals,” my company said. “Transsexual prostitutes.”

    I hadn’t noticed, but learned to identify them as I continued to roam the streets of Izmir at night. I would later learn that prostitution is legal in Turkey, but that only women are permitted to work in brothels. (The current government has enacted a number of measures to make it more difficult for brothels to operate, which means that female prostitutes are increasingly being forced out into the street as well; however, transgender street prostitutes seemed, at least in Izmir, to be the norm.) As transgender people in Turkey already tend to live in the margins of society, many are pushed even further into performing street prostitution because widespread prejudice against them makes it difficult to find work outside the sex trade.

    Turkey is a land of contractions, however, and the story how LGBT people are treated here is less simple than one might think. Although Turkey’s patriarchal bent is undeniable, and although violence against LGBT people is alarmingly frequent (as illustrated by the bizarre ad I’ve attached below from Amnesty International, which implores us all to add #gayturtle to our tweets in order to spread awareness of Turkey’s homophobia problem), certain LGBT individuals have pushed their way to the top of Turkish society to become icons even among the most conservative and homophobic layers of society.

    One of these is Bülent Ersoy, who I first learned about via a conversation I had about feminism and women’s rights with Adem. “Feminists in Turkey often think about feminism too narrowly,” he said. “In conversations about rights for women and LGBT people, few give economics the place they deserve in the discussion. Women, gays, and transgender people are treated really badly here, it’s true, but money can reverse that completely. Just look at Bülent Ersoy. She is rich enough that nobody in Turkey can touch her.”

    “Who’s Bülent Ersoy?” I asked.

    “Bülent Ersoy is a trans woman,” Adem said. “A very popular singer who became popular while she was still a man. Also, believe me when I say that she looked a lot better when she was a man. Anyway, she got surgery to change her gender and a few years later she was even able to have her gender legally changed. She’s still famous, and really very popular.”

    I picked up my phone to google Ersoy. Adem was certainly right about her looking better as a man. Ersoy as a man could have passed as a woman with the help of a bit of eyebrow shaping. Ersoy as a woman – well, nobody would suspect she was born a man, I suppose.

    bulent ersoy man

    Source: YouTube

    Source: Internet Haber

    Source: Internet Haber

    I started mentioning Bülent Ersoy to different Turkish people to gauge their reactions and get a real idea of her fame. Everybody knew who she was, and most reacted the same way. “Ah yes, Bülent Ersoy. Very famous. Great singer. Looked much prettier as a man.” Eventually, this reaction gave me pause. I began to think about how everybody who spoke about Ersoy’s looks, and particularly her beauty, was implying that one of the functions of a ‘woman’ is to look good. And although women who were born women fight back against this societal expectation sometimes and are generally considered entitled to do so, transgender women do not enjoy this same privilege because the concept of beauty is something we use to judge the ‘womanness’ of somebody who was born with a penis.

    That being said, the real reason that Bülent Ersoy has managed to attain and maintain such fame is not the fact that she’s transgender and is not her physical appearance – it’s her music. I’ve included one of her tracks below; the video clocks in at nearly 10 million views, ensuring that nobody can claim Ersoy to be anything but mainstream.

    Here is another track, this time with Tarkan, another one of Turkey’s best known singers.

    Although by now I am used to being surprised by Turkey’s contractions, Bülent Ersoy’s popularity still shocked me. She even seemed a posterchild for Turkey’s contradictions; as I scrolled through internet photographs of her, I stumbled across a photograph of her wearing hijab. After showing the photograph to Adem, he said, “yes, she wears it when she sings religious songs. Oh, I forgot to tell you, when she got a sex change operation in 1981, the tabloids published a picture of her disembodied penis in a jar.” He googled the picture to show me.

    It was a penis all right.

    But here she is in a hijab, which she's accessorized beautifully with a feather wrap.

    I decided not to post the photograph of the penis, but here is Ersoy herself in a hijab, which she’s accessorized beautifully with an opulent feather wrap, straight eyebrows, and lots and lots of lipliner.

    My and Adem’s conversation continued. “There’s another person I have to tell you about,” he said. “Not Bülent Ersoy – before her.” His name was Zeki Müren, and he was like a gay icon in Turkey. He never officially came out as gay, but he dressed very effeminately and wore makeup, and he had a beautiful voice. It doesn’t matter who you are in Turkey – religious, not religious, liberal, conservative, man, woman – Zeki Müren is loved. Universally loved. I think he was one of the best vocalists the world has ever seen. He really sang very beautiful Turkish, and spoke it too for that matter. There are even videos where you can see his incredible diction because he’s just saying tongue-twisters to show it off.

    Zeki Müren has been variously compared to David Bowie and Liberace by people who feel like Western readers need some kind of reference point in order to understand his impact. If a further reference point is needed, Müren bears similarities to Neil Patrick Harris for his dual music and film career; Müren appeared in 18 films, usually as a straight male love interest. However, as as Cara Giaimo writes, “comparing [Müren] to others obscures the very particular role he played, and still plays, in his own country.” Zeki Müren wasn’t the David Bowie or Liberace or Neil Patrick Harris of Turkey, but the Zeki Müren of Turkey. Indeed, when Lady Gaga released her album art for her album “Applause” the internet was quick to point out a similar image of Zeki Müren and accuse her of blatant plagiarism. The fact that the Zeki Müren image was clearly photoshopped and couldn’t possibly have been real didn’t matter. The message was clear: Müren was the real deal, while those creatives who succeeded him are comparative poseurs.

    This is a hoax, but that's not the point.

    This is a hoax, but that’s not the point.

    A few weeks ago, an article appeared in Atlas Obscura about the Zeki Müren hotline. An initiative of Turkish filmmaker Beyza Boyacioglu, the hotline is a repository for Zeki Müren stories, memories, and tributes and ran entirely on word of mouth. As of a month ago, the hotline had received over 700 individual message proving that, even 20 years after his death, Müren is still an icon. His pompadour, makeup, and effeminate clothing mark him as a man who played with gender and sexuality, but his voice and legacy are universalizing.

    This video has 8 million views, even though Müren has been dead for 20 years. Not bad at all.

    On the whole, the Turkish establishment is becoming more conservative than it ever has before. It’s not fair to characterize Bülent Ersoy and Zeki Müren as pockets of resistance per say, but their popularity does serve as a reminder that Turkish society is a whirlwind of contradiction. Turkey is a place where transgender people are forced into the sex trade and are the objects of violence but also attain the heights of Ersoy, where female virginity at marriage is prized even in the most liberal enclaves (and in Izmir, this is coupled with pressure to look really good and dress provocatively), where hospitality is prized but urban residents can be incredibly rude, and where hijabis roam wearing incredible makeup and dresses cut to show off the shape of their body and make out with their boyfriends in secluded corners. I’ve given up trying to understand, but I’ve committed to keep noticing.

  • Fat-Bottomed Dames will go Shopping Today

    Kazanlak Pazar, BulgariaI’ve started shopping at the pazar near my house. I am a great lover of food pazars and farmers markets, and generally assume that everybody feels the same excitement about them that I do.

    Not my boyfriend. I sweetly asked him if he wished to accompany me to the bazaar so that we may feast on the scent of perfectly ripe strawberries, buy farm-fresh produce for pennies, and look everywhere for fennel, which I have yet to see in Turkey but am still hoping is just not in season.

    “No,” said he, “I don’t like pazars. I prefer grocery stores even though they are more expensive.”

    Incredible. “Bu-but why?” I stammered, wondering momentarily if we were truly meant to be at all. Besides being more expensive, grocery stores sell a limited selection of produce, most of which looks not sufficiently crunchy or juicy as the case may be.

    “I don’t like Turkish ladies with fat asses.”

    “What?”

    “Old Turkish ladies with big butts take up all the space between the stalls and they never move aside for you. They are very inconsiderate. They feel like they own the pazar.”

    Since people bumping into him without acknowledging his presence is truly Adem’s number one pet-peeve and is not specific to bazaars, I acquiesced and went alone. It was not busy, and I was not inconvenienced by any fat-assed Turkish ladies. There were also very few full-grown men shopping, and most of the ones I did see appeared to be accompanied by a woman.

    Turkey as a society is generally very patriarchal, particularly (though not exclusively) among the older generations. In these generations, women who have never worked outside the home are common, and it stands to reason that their skill at cooking, cleaning, and caring for children make up a big part of their self-worth and conceptions of their own competence. It is therefore understandable, though perhaps not reasonable, that they may consider the bazaar a space to which they are entitled.

    photo by:
  • Fear in Istanbul

    Istanbul is a city where I’m always on my guard. The hellish traffic and pedestrian-unfriendly roads, the leering men (in certain neighbourhoods), the jacked-up tourist prices, and the pickpockets and beggars have made their mark on my daily behaviours. In Canada, I can walk aimlessly; in Istanbul, I walk with purpose and don’t look around so as to look neither vulnerable nor approachable. In Canada, I look both ways before crossing; in Istanbul, my head rocks back and forth like a metronome before and during my road crossing. Right left – oh there’s a car, I’ll just stop here for a second in the middle of the road – good, he’s gone, okay now should I let this line of 20 cars go or should I stare them all down and dare them to run me over?

    In Canada, I don’t watch my purse as it swings next to my hip; in Istanbul, I even hug it to my chest if I’m in a crowded place. As for men, I prefer to stay outside of tourist neighbourhoods so that people will tend to assume I am Turkish or not have the linguistic skills to approach me.

    You get the picture.

    The funny thing about this is that, although I am more guarded in Istanbul than I am elsewhere and have been a victim of many of the dangers of Istanbul (including pickpocketing, groping, rude too-persistent flirting, and many a near-miss traffic accident) I rarely feel personal fear. I feel annoyance, anger, fatigue, and self-righteous indignation on a regular basis. I even feel fear regarding the political situation in Turkey, and the eventual fate of the entire country and a few friends in positions of opposition to the most excellent president. Personalized fear about my own safety, however, is something I’ve rarely felt.

    This time, things are different. Over the past year, Turkey has been the victim of seven terrorist attacks, two of which have occurred in Istanbul. And while I’ve written before about the importance of not allowing yourself to feel afraid when these things happen; that they’re statistically very unlikely to happen to you and so on, the truth is that I am more affected by my knowledge that they happen than I’d care to admit.

    After the second attack on Istanbul two months ago, I started to have anxiety attacks while still in Canada. In a crowded bar thought, “The death toll would be huge if there were an attack right now” and be unable to be present with the people in front of me. In the subway, I would keep an eye on seemingly abandoned baggage as tightness mounted in my chest, at one point even leaving to take the next train. And after my initial excitement at riding the new Azur train in Montreal dissipated, the first thing I thought was, “That open design would make the death toll of a bomb a lot higher.”

    The anxiety attacks became less frequent as my most recent arrival in Istanbul approached, I guess because it had been some time since the most recent terrorist attack. So I was unprepared for my arrival.

    It started with the loud bangs. Istanbul is a busy city that produces many loud bangs. There are lots of things that can bang: trunks of cars, fire crackers, celebratory gunshots after a soccer game, garbage trucks, etc. Instead of immediately jumping to the conclusion that it was one of the many innocuous things that can go bang every time something goes bang, it always takes me a moment to shake off the conviction that it was a bomb.

    A few days after my arrival I had to take the T1 tram to Kabataş. This is the tram that goes through Sultanahmet, where the first bomb in January went off. My first trip was uneventful, but as I approached Sultanahmet on my second trip, I noticed a young man to the left of me carrying a large suitcase. There was nothing about this man that indicated any danger. He looked to be Turkish. He was wearing a pair of sunglasses and had absurdly well-coiffed hair (absurd by Canadian standards; well within the standard of “normal” by Turkish ones.) I started to feel my chest tighten. As we continued along the route towards Sultanahmet, it tightened further. I felt a strong urge to get off the tram, but knew that if I did I would be not only late to my appointment, but would have capitulated to my fear.

    I stayed on the tram but elbowed my way to the other end of the car in the hopes that, if the bag did blow up, I might stand a chance of being among the injured instead of the dead.

    When I arrived at my destination, I could barely breathe. It took a half hour for the chest tightness to dissipate, and I was dogged by soul-sucking post-anxiety-attack fatigue. Later, I took the tram back the other way; the only incident was an American couple fighting awkwardly in the tram, assuming (I guess) that nobody around them spoke English. “I feel like you’re not respecting my friends right now.”—I know you feel that way, but I don’t want to stay up until 2 a.m.–“Yes, but I feel disrespected and ashamed, that’s how I feel.”

    When I came to the next morning, I began to think about the anxiety attack again. Before leaving, many of my friends expressed concern about the possibility of terrorist attacks, and I reassured them (truthfully) that the chances of anything happening were low and that if I did manage to be killed at any point, it was most likely to be death by dolmus. Of course, I told them, living in Istanbul comes with risks; anybody who wants, or is forced, to live here can’t allow him or herself to think about it too much, both because it is a useless exercise and because the relative risk is very low.

    Still, it’s hard to hold myself to this ideal. I do succumb to fits of anxiety. So what to say? Touché, terrorists? You’re assholes, but you know how to do the job.

  • The War in Yemen is Worse Than you Thought

    Warning: Links in this post contain disturbing pictures. Click at your own risk. 
    “My cousin’s husband is in prison. He’s an imam and one day, after the prayer, he told people to avoid certain neighbourhoods because they were dangerous. The police came and took him away to prison. You know Kate, we was not allowed to visit, but one day they were telling us that we can visit. So my wife make some food and we go to the prison, but they told us to come back the next day. So we went back the next day, and they told us again to come back the next day. We didn’t go back, because we knew they were lying. Maybe they moved him or something – I don’t know. Or maybe they were doing the thing, you know Kate, with the electric wire, you know put the electric wire on the foot and BLLZZHRT…”

    This was one of the earlier conversations I had with Hussein. The political situation in Yemen has always been a thread that runs through our discussions. Hussein brings it up like it’s the most normal thing in the world, before segueing on to other topics that are actually normal or maybe (like camel jumping) just a little bit weird.

    In our last conversation, he said, “You know Kate, things in Yemen is not so good right now.” He paused. This was the first time he’d said anything like this; he’d mentioned the war before, how his children cry during the bombings and how it’s impossible to go to Saudi Arabia to see relatives now, but always with a sort of incongruous cheerfulness. (Bedouin people traditionally roamed all throughout the desert between Saudi Arabia and Yemen. Hussein was even born in Saudi Arabia, but ultimately ended up with Yemeni citizenship while many of his close family members became Saudi Arabians).

    That day, Hussein’s cheerful demeanor seemed to have dimmed. The pause lasted for a few seconds as he shook his head.

    “But Kate!” he said, recovering himself “You know, I have neighbour and he is a Jewish. You know, Kate, there is no problem Muslim Jewish in Sanaa. No problem! Usually the Muslims are loving the Jewish and the Jewish are loving the Muslims. But the Jewish, you know they have a very old Torah. And there were some Muslims – not all Muslims, bad Muslims – they were trying to burn the Torah of the Jewish. So the Jewish, they wanted to bring the Torah to Israel. And –,” he looked gleeful, “I helped them!”

    Hussein works at the airport. I won’t give any more details because he’s asked that I don’t reveal his identity (as before, his name and a few other identifying details have been changed.) However, having access to the airport in Sanaa gives one a big advantage: namely, you can find ways to transport things in and out of Yemen. It’s not a privilege that many Yemenis have and it’s a privilege that seems to have kept Hussein and his family in good shape even while malnutrition and poverty ravage the country at rates that, by some estimates, are twice as high as they were before the war.

    “So yes, Kate” Hussein continued, “My neighbour – the Jewish – he said he would pay me but I didn’t take any money. I said I only needed the money to bribe the baggage handler! So I gave the baggage handler 500 USD and then pointed out which bag he shouldn’t check and then they got the bag to Jordan. I said that I couldn’t help them after Jordan, but they said it was fine. The Israel embassy would pick it up! So in Jordan, the Israeli embassy picked it up, and there are even some pictures of the Israeli prime minister reading the Torah!”

    He sent me a few photos.

    One of the pictures he sent. Source appears to be Breaking Israel News.

    One of the pictures he sent. Source appears to be Breaking Israel News.

    “Could the baggage handler see what was in the bag?” I asked. “He knew it wasn’t a bomb or something?”
    “Yes, of course. He knew it is not bomb. Anyway, Yemen doesn’t have a real government really, so no problem. No problem!”

    I made a mental note to myself that flying in or out of Yemen was to be done at my own risk. Not that that wasn’t already kind of obvious.

    “Anyway, it was good to take it out of Yemen because it would be bad to burn it.” Hussein continued, “And then after, all of the people who worked on the plane or who could have maybe smuggled the thing were taken to the police station. And they asked us if we knew anything and I said no. They let me go. Anyway, the man who asked me to help him – he is safe in Israel now so they can’t get him.”

    “Also Kate,” he said, “I just found out that my wife is – you know what is the thing when you have a baby?”

    “Pregnant?”

    “Yes! Pregnant. She is pregnant. She is starting to have some, you know, sickness. So she went to the doctor and the doctor said she is pregnant.”

    Immediately after we hung up, I googled the Torah only to learn that most of the remaining Jews in Yemen had made Aliyah to Israel around the same time, and that it was widely reported in the Jewish press that at least one or two people had gone to prison over the smuggling of the scroll. I didn’t see Hussein pop up on Skype the whole week, and started to worry. Had he been called back into the police station for a course of electric shock torture? Had his house been damaged and family crushed in airstrikes?

    I sent him a message on Skype. There was no answer.

    Two days later I sent him an e-mail and got a response. “Thank you Kate, we are fine. We can talk tomorrow, if you have time.”

    He rang me the next day, back to his normal jovial self. “I have a question for you Kate. You know, in Islam we are praying five times a day. In Christianity, what is the prayer schedule?”

    I stumbled through an explanation of how it was basically different for everybody and that the many Christian denominations are quite diverse.

    “Oh yes Kate! I am loving this word “diversity.” Thank you for teaching it to me! So you know, Kate, in Islam we have to pray five times per day. But you know, that is a lot. And you have to get up very early. Sometimes I do it … like once in one day. And sometimes just once a week! One time I asked a cleric man about this and he said that I had to pray five times per day. So I told him, ‘well, it is easy for you! You are cleric man. This is your job and you get paid for it. But me, I am busy!’ The cleric man, you know – well, he is a cleric – and he told me that maybe I would go to hell. But I don’t think that God would do that. He knows who is a good person and who isn’t a good person.”

    The conversation turned to Hussein’s other main vice, alcohol. “Okay, you know Kate,” said Hussein, “alcohol, it is not allowed in Islam. But you know, the reason it is not allowed is because maybe if you get drunk you will get angry and kill someone! I think this is kind of wrong because I don’t get angry, I get calm. Also Kate, whenever I am speaking English and I have drunk two or three beers, I am so good at speaking English! I am not even nervous. What about you? When you talk to people like me and correct them, I am not sure how you are patient. Maybe if you had a drink before you would be even more calm?”

    Before leaving, Hussein showed me a few bottles of olive oil from Jordan that he’d sourced through his aerial shipping networks. “Look Kate, these are some olive oil. I bought them for my neighbours because they are poor.”

    Very little has been written in the media about Yemen, though since I started talking to Hussein I’ve tried to stay abreast of the conflict. Food insecurity was one theme of the week; photographs of a starving five month old baby, skin stretched tight over tiny bones like a sick parody of an 80 year old man, lying in a Yemeni hospital before his death were plastered across one article, which stated that an estimated 1.3 million children are suffering from malnutrition in Yemen and that 10 of Yemen’s provinces are one classification away from “famine.” Not only that, malnutrition rates have apparently doubled since last year, largely due to a Saudi-led naval embargo.

    Another article this week: “Responsibility when it suits us,” (original article in French, all translations by me.) The article is about Canada’s foreign affairs policy and essentially states that the official position of the Canadian government is that, while we care about the human rights of our citizens, that shouldn’t prevent us from engaging with countries that don’t. Many of these countries are major global actors, and it would be irresponsible to ignore them.
    According to Stéphane Dion, it would be irresponsible to break a contract that we have to sell light armoured vehicles to Saudi Arabia because they are not respecting human rights in Yemen. To wit, Saudi Arabia is not simply targeting military targets, but has also bombed civilian neighbourhoods in Sanaa.
    I got angrier and angrier as I read through the article. Apparently, refusing to sell LAVs to Saudi Arabia could result in thousands of lost jobs and a loss to Canada’s credibility. That’s right – Canada might be perceived as a commercial partner incapable of keeping their word for refusing to sell arms to a country engaging in what are recognized by the UN as war crimes.

    I told Hussein about it. “I’m really ashamed to say this,” I said, “but Canada sells weapons to Saudi Arabia.”

    Hussein did not react the way I expected. “Kate! You know, this is just business! No problem! Just business!” An emphatic denial of what I consider distinctly unethical. Sure, having trade relations with Saudi Arabia might be okay if we were selling wheat or something, but selling weapons that would likely be used to perpetuate human rights abuses? Hussein didn’t agree with me, but that did not change my opinion.

    As Canadians, we are not just responsible when it suits us. In the face of over a million malnourished children, I daresay that Canada can lose 3000 jobs. Of course I recognize that Saudi Arabia is not the only actor in the war, but their entry into the conflict appears to have caused more problems than it’s solved.

    Hussein wasn’t done talking about bringing things across borders. “You know Kate,” he said, “in Yemen, we have the qat – you know, it is a drug and it is getting us high. But it is illegal in other countries. If you want to bring some to other countries you have to make it very dry and put it in teabags. Then they will look at it when you get to the other country and they will think, ‘this is only tea!’

    Paper giving an allure of legitimacy to a harmful substance. It seemed a darkly amusing metaphor for Canada’s contract with Saudi Arabia, but maybe that was just me.

    If you’re Canadian, letters protesting this can be addressed to

    The Honorable Stéphane Dion
    House of Commons
    Ottawa, Ontario
    Canada
    K1A 0A6

    Postage is not required. Simply drop your letter in the nearest post box.

    **By the way, if you’re American or French you sell even more arms to Saudi Arabia than Canadians. Please feel free to write to your appropriate representatives to protest your involvement.

  • There’s a War, There’s Bombardier, Grasshoppers with Mayonnaise are Subversive, and Other Things You May Not Have Known about Yemen

    After jet setting around the world on the hunt for edifying conversations, I turned out to be sitting in my room in Montreal when I met Hussein. I’d come back to Montreal hoping to finish my degree, read a bit more about the places I’d explored, bash out some more articles for my blog and for posterity, and work. I need a break from a constant barrage of new cultures and new history, just to process what I’d already learned. Or so I thought.

    Hussein and I met online soon after I came back to Canada. He messaged me one day on a website I spend time on to see if I was willing to help him practice his English. His website profile told me he was from “Yeman” and living in “Yeman.” I’d never met anybody from Yemen before, so I agreed to add him on Skype and see how it went.

    I’ve met a lot of people online this way, but Hussein was different. Our first meeting, he introduced me to his two toddlers, who waved through the camera at me and serenaded me with an enthused chorus of “habibi, habibi!” Hussein also introduced me to his wife, who waved politely and left quickly. After she was gone, he said, “My wife was not very friendly to you because she is jealous and doesn’t want me to learn English from a woman who is not veiled. I told her it was not a problem and that you love your boyfriend.”

    I started to feel uncomfortable. Not – of course – that I’d had any intention of homewrecking the marriage of some guy in Yemen. But you know, I didn’t want to be that girl.

    Hussein continued, “My wife, she is very conservative. Too conservative. Her father is a religious figure in Yemen, and she is always always praying. 5 times a day, can you believe it?! I mean, yes yes, God is One and you are supposed to pray, but one or two times is enough. No problem!”

    “Hmm,” I said, non-committally, mentally weighing whether it was appropriate for me to keep talking to this guy if his wife wasn’t okay with it.

    “Well, yes, she is very conservative. But actually, she is a good wife and I love her and my kids.”

    I decided that if he was unequivocal about loving her, I could continue. Already, he’d piqued my interest with a sort of guilelessness and candor rare among the people I meet online and, for that matter, among the people I meet in real life.

    I wasn’t wrong. Hussein seemed to have little understanding of how different my life was from his and did little to filter what he told me. Sometimes his stories were intriguing and different, sometimes shocking. I tried to always react like he was talking about something that seemed normal even though this was often not the case.

    Take, for example, the story of Hussein. Hussein was a Bedouin boy from the desert. He lived in a nomadic tent encampment with his father, his father’s several wives, and his siblings. At some point, Hussein found himself needing an education, so he went to Lebanon. There, at the academy, he was treated with contempt. “All those people were telling me, you are just a stupid Bedouin boy, how are you going to do well in school?” he told me. “So I got the highest grade in the class, even in English class. No problem!”

    After working in Lebanon for a while, Hussein eventually moved back to Yemen and got a good job in the city, far away from the desert life he had grown up with. When he came back to Yemen, his mother called him. “I think it’s time you get married,” she said, or something to that effect. Hussein agreed, and his mother said, “I’ve found a very nice girl for you. She is beautiful and she is from a good tribe. You can marry her.” Hussein’s sisters corroborated his mother’s story, so Hussein agreed to the marriage.

    “In Yemen,” he said, “among the Bedouin, you don’t meet before the wedding. Then there are two marriage parties. One for the women and one for the men. So we had these parties, and then my wife’s tribe veiled her completely and put her on a camel. Then they brought the camel to our tribe, and while they were coming they were shooting their guns to say, “We are coming, we are coming!” Then we were also shooting our guns to say, “you are welcome! You are welcome!” Then my wife arrived on the camel. She got off the camel and I had to unveil her face. Then I wasn’t allowed to touch her for a few days, and then we were married and I could touch her.

    Hussein’s stories often follow a few common themes. Contrasts and tensions between his upbringing in the desert and his current life in a city in Yemen and his life in Lebanon, or between conservative Islam and his more liberal belief. Camels. Technological innovation. The war in Yemen. And food. One day, I asked him to tell me about Yemeni food.

    “Oh it is so delicious!” he said. “We are having lots of delicious food in Yemen, especially the food that is being cooked in the desert. We actually bury it and roast it underground. Actually, the women do it. Men hunt in Yemen. They don’t cook.”

    “Oh?” I said. “So what kinds of things do you eat?”

    “Oh, you know, lambs, camels. Also the milk of the camel. It is so delicious. Inshallah, when you and your boyfriend come to visit Yemen, I will introduce you to camel milk. Mmmm.” He smacked his lips. “Also, we don’t eat any cows or pigs. There are no cows in the desert, so I have never eaten cow meat. Do you eat camel meat in Canada?”

    I told him we didn’t.

    “Oh, that is very sad,” he said, “When you come to visit Yemen inshallah you will eat the meat of the camel. We are also eating grasshoppers. They are very delicious.”

    “How do you eat them?” I asked, mentally wondering if Yemenites were in the habit of eating grasshopper soup or grasshopper salad or something.

    “Ohhhh,” Hussein paused, “well, here in the city with just my wife and my kids we are eating them with mayonnaise and ketchup, no problem! But when my father is coming to visit, we eat them by themselves because, you know Kate, if we are eating them with mayonnaise and ketchup my father will be telling me that I’m not a real man.”

    Another time, Hussein told me about the delectable desert gerbil. “In the desert, we are eating gerbils,” he said.

    “Gerbils?” I asked.

    “Yes, yes, gerbils. They are very delicious. The women, they make them like roasting. Here, I will send you a picture of a gerbil from the desert.”

    This is a desert gerbil.

    This is a desert gerbil.

    And this is a desert gerbil kebab.

    And this is a desert gerbil kebab.

    Camels are another common theme in conversations with Hussein.

    “My son,” he told me one day, “my son he is so like camels. Especially small camels because my son is very small. Sometimes he is like, you know, riding the small camels in the city.”

    “Do you guys use camels for long distances?” I asked.

    “No no!” he said. “We are using cars for this. Camels would take soooo long. But in the city, we are often using camels to go places.”

    Another time, he told me about a traditional Bedouin sport.

    “You know Kate, in the desert,” he said, “We are doing some sports with jumping and camels.”

    “Jumping camels?”

    “Yes, yes, we are running, and we are jumping.”

    “Can you send me a picture?”

    Hussein sent me a picture of a boy in midair, jumping over a camel.

    I stared at it dumbly. “Oh,” I said, “You mean you jump over camels.”

    “Yes yes!” he said enthusiastically. “We are jumping over camels.”

    “Can you jump over camels?” I asked. Hussein isn’t a small guy like the boys in the picture.

    “Oh,” he said, “when I was younger I was jumping over camels. But now I am, you know, I am married and my wife cooks very good food. So I have gotten some extra weight. Maybe now I could jump over only one camel. One small camel.”

    (Video of camel jumping below. There is also lots of great photography of it at this site: http://www.adamreynoldsphotography.com/camel-jumpers-of-the-al-zaraneeq. Go and have a look!)

    Hussein’s wife would come up from time to time. Eventually, it would appear that she got used to me, even waving and smiling at me occasionally from the other side of the camera. Although Hussein is still unequivocal about loving her, her lifestyle occasionally grates on his nerves. Hussein pines for his life in Lebanon, where he could go to a bar and enjoy a beer. Hussein’s wife, on the other hand, has no desire to engage in this kind of lifestyle.

    “Oh Kate!” Hussein said one day, “I had a very nice day. I went to the market today and I bought some nice clothes for my kids, a Spiderman t-shirt for my son and a dress for my daughter. But my wife – every time I give her money to buy something nice for herself, she is giving it to, you know, the poor people. She is just very religious. And she won’t buy any nice clothes. I tell her she shouldn’t wear an abaya, but she is always saying, ‘No, I want to wear my abaya.'”

    “But…” he said again, “I do love my wife. She’s a good wife. But also Kate, you know, I told her that she should learn English. Maybe, you know, she can also practice her English with you. But she told me that she didn’t want to learn English. But then I had a very good idea and I told her that if she learned English she could tell people who spoke English about Islam. Then she said that maybe it was a good idea for her to learn English too. Inshallah I will teach her the alphabet and the she can also start talking to you.”

    “Also Kate,” he said. “My father is always telling me that I should get some more wives. He has four wives and lots of children. But he doesn’t understand that I love having only one wife. My wife is enough for me.”

    Over all of Hussein’s everyday concerns arches the war in Yemen, a war I didn’t know about until I met him. Hussein mentioned it for the first time in his characteristic offhand way, like it’s something I should have already known about and normalized.

    “You know Kate,” he said, “last night there was a lot of bombing here. And my kids were very scared, they were crying.”

    “Who is fighting?” I asked.

    “Well,” Hussein responded, “nobody exactly knows all the details, but I think Saudi Arabia is wanting control of some of Yemen’s oil and so they invaded. And they are bombing military things. You know, it is very bad. That’s why I am hoping to get a job outside of Yemen with a different company and learn to speak good English so that people can understand me. Inshallah.”

    A few weeks later, he sent me a picture of some bombed out passenger planes. “Hey Kate,” he said, “here are some pictures of some planes that were damaged by shrapnel last night when Saudi Arabia was bombing military runways at the airport. Also, you know, these are Bombardier aircraft! They are from Canada.”

    damaged bombardier plan aircraft yemen 2 damaged bombardier plane aircraft yemen 3 damaged plane yemen 4 damaged plane yemen

    “Is this on the news?” I asked. “When did this happen?”

    “Yesterday,” (February 9th for the first three pictures, a week later for the fourth) he said. “I don’t know if it’s on the news.”

    I googled. It wasn’t.

    “You are welcome to write about it on your blog if you want, just don’t say who sent you the photographs. You are not allowed to take photographs in this airport. (Hussein, by the way, is not his real name, and I have changed some other identifying details.)” I agreed.

    The conversation turned back to more quotidian concerns. “You know Kate,” he said, “I want to show you something.” He brought his computer over to the corner of his living room. “This is my electricity generator. I am hooking up some solar panels and generating electricity through this. This is my converter and this is my router. It is working very well! We are even giving some electricity to our neighbour for her lights because she is poor and she is a widow. I bought this when I was in Lebanon. You know Kate, before the war this was not so expensive. But now because of the war it is becoming very expensive. So I am lucky.”

    “Aren’t you afraid that somebody will steal it when you aren’t home?” I asked. “Oh no,” he said. “When I am home, no problem! And when I am not home, my wife she is able to use our Kalashnikov if there are thieves.”

    Hussein is also a big fan of the movie Avatar. “Oh, I am loving this movie Avatar,” he told me once. “It is like living in the desert, with the wars between the tribes and stuff, you know Kate. I am, you know, like I am understanding this movie.”

    Most recently, Hussein told me about chewing khat. “This weekend, my father is coming, so we are going to chew some khat,” he told me. “I really should quit, but if my father comes he will say, ‘why are you not chewing the khat’ with me. So I will get pretty high.”

    He paused and reflected.

    “But you know Kate,” he said. “Chewing the khat can be kind of dangerous because they are putting pesticides on it. So sometimes it makes the insides of your cheek hurt. But it is okay because my father has a friend who knows how to identify when the khat has pesticides on it. Yes, it is okay.”

    “Well, good luck,” I said. Later, he sent me a photo of chewing khat captioned, “Now I am going to get high.” I didn’t know if I should be proud of teaching him that word, or worried. The constant background of the war and public-health dangers seems to be perceived by Hussein as relative normalcy.

    During our last conversation, he said, “There was bombing again last night, and my kids were scared. But, you know, me and my wife are okay. There have been four wars in Yemen. We are used to it. Inshallah, it will end soon but you know, we are used to it.”

  • Hallowe’en, Turkey, and the (Urban) Legend of the Golden Arm

    My second-grade teacher Mr. Moore was a short man in his fifties who tied his ties, which he wore every day without fail, so tightly that his neck protruded redly over his shirt collar. He drew his ‘1’s so that they resembled typography instead of lowercase ‘L’s and taught us about alphabetical order, the weather, and how heart disease and stroke worked. In one lesson, I remember him explaining that the reason humans have a will to live is because they have a soul. A second later, he admitted that he wouldn’t be able to answer any questions about the souls of plants even though they were alive, too. I was fascinated.

    Mr. Moore worked in a school where about half of the children wouldn’t graduate from high school and where only one in ten attended university (and three out of the four kids from my year who went to university left the community before they turned 14.) And yet, in the midst of all the difficulties he surely met as an educator in such a situation, he still managed to spark the philosophically sophisticated question of whether plants have souls or any motivation to stay alive in my seven-year-old mind. I loved Mr. Moore when I was seven and I still have a lot of respect for the kind of teacher he was, a man who educated well despite the incredible difficulties most of his students faced.

    One fine October 31st in the 1990s, all the children came to school extra excited, for it was the day of Hallowe’en. Mr. Moore dressed up for the holiday in his signature fashion, with a tie that sported a large plastic Frankenstein head, tied predictably too tight. After teaching us how to spell Hallowe’en (with an apostrophe between the two ‘e’s, a habit I have never been able to shake even as standard usage has evolved to favour the other spelling), we sat on mats around Mr. Moore’s imposing wooden chair for story-time, a time of day usually reserved for the reading-aloud of timeless children’s classics such as Dav Pilkey’s Captain Underpants. Except – except that this wasn’t any ordinary story-time. This time, Mr. Moore held no paperback within his fingers. I held my breath.

    He began, “Once upon a time, there lived a woman with a golden arm.” I’ve forgotten the exact details of his telling, but I remember that the golden-armed woman eventually died. Realizing (rather logically, I must admit) that a dead person has little use for an arm made of solid gold, a thief nicked the priceless prosthesis from the woman’s corpse.

    The woman of the erstwhile golden arm did not agree that she had little use for a golden arm and came back to haunt the thief. Mr. Moore held us tight to our mats as he recounted how the woman’s ghost approached the robber’s home as she let out unearthly moans. “Where is my golden arm” Mr. Moore cried spookily as we stared at him wide-eyed. “Where is my golden arm?”

    BOO!

    We all jumped. The story didn’t continue and we never found out what happened to the thief or the armless ghost, but that wasn’t the point. We were good and terrified.

    Nearly twenty years later, I googled “golden arm” to see what would happen. I learned that Mr. Moore hadn’t made the story up, as I’d assumed. The story is a folk legend dating back at least two-hundred years and present in a number of different countries and cultures.

    Why was I googling this? Because I heard another morbid story about a golden arm of sorts, this time from Turkey and probably of more recent, although equally unknown, provenance.

    A few months ago, I was talking to a Turkish friend who was telling me that he’d gone to visit his mother and sister. “Did you talk about anything interesting?” I asked.

    “Yeah,” he said. “They were telling me that they went back to our hometown recently and saw a woman who was wearing bangles from her wrist to her elbow! Just to show that she had money, can you imagine? She was lucky she lived in small-town Turkey. If you tried something like that in Istanbul, somebody might cut off your arm to steal the gold!”

    Turkey is home to many jewelry stores that look exactly like this one, in and outside of tourist areas.

    Turkey is home to many jewelry stores that look exactly like this one, in and outside of tourist areas, and wearing gold bangles is definitely a ‘thing.’

    I’ve witnessed both ostentatious displays of wealth in Turkey and theft in Istanbul, so I didn’t really think much of the story besides, “That woman should consider a more diversified and less ostentatious investment portfolio.” And, embarrassingly, I allowed myself to believe that people in Istanbul had gotten their arms cut off for gold bangles.

    Two or three months later, I had another conversation with a different Turkish friend, this time about an equally morbid event – the 1999 earthquake in Izmit, a small city near Istanbul. “It was awful,” he said, “There were literally corpses everywhere. I still remember how it smelled. And I heard this story – I don’t know if it’s true, I mean, I believe it’s true – that there was a woman trapped under a building wearing an armful of gold bangles. And as she was calling, “help, help, help me get out from under this building” a man came by and cut her arm off for the gold bangles and then just left her there, trapped under the building.”

    We both paused to contemplate the horror of such a story.

    “Wait a second,” he said. “That doesn’t make sense.”

    “Yeah,” I said. “If she were trapped, they could have just taken the bangles. No arm cutting-off necessary.”

    “Also,” he said, “Turkish people are kind of nosy. Probably somebody would have come round and told him, ‘you’re an idiot! Don’t you realize that you can just take off the bangles in much less time than it takes you to saw off an arm?!’”

    “I mean,” I said, “even if you had a saw that could cut quickly like a chain saw or a skill saw, those tools are pretty cumbersome and usually need to be plugged in anyway. Guns are a more practical persuasive tactic if theft is your game . . . and the person is likely to make a lot less noise whether or not you shoot them.

    (Also, gunshots in Turkey are not necessarily the result of violence, and can just as easily go off in the joyful aftermath of a soccer match that your favourite team has won. If you hear a gunshot in Turkey, Turkish people will tell you not to look out the window because people have died from injuries due to stray celebration-bullets. Shooting a gun might actually make people less likely to investigate what you’re doing.)

    A day later, I googled every combination of Turkish and English words I could think of to try to find any reputable news article about anybody having their arm sawed off for gold bangles. I could not find anything. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

    I would love to be able to date this legend but, like the legend of the golden arm, I am afraid that the genesis of this story may be lost in the – insert ghostly sound effects here – mists of tiiii-iii—iiiime.

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